Tomorrow David and I have been married twelve years. I tend not to put posts up on a weekend, so it feels fitting to mark it today, blog wise. It still feels quite grown-up to have a 'wedding anniversary.' It's what your parents and grandparents had when you were younger; it's cards adorned with flowers and scroll type fonts.
When people ask how long we've been married, I can't just give a straight answer. I have to add the fact that we were together for ten and a half years before we finally got around to making it official. So yes, we've been 'married' for twelve years, but 'together' for twenty-two and a half years. Twelve years is good going, but twenty-two and a half years is long-term hard-core stuff for a couple of our age. It's a statistic that makes me feel really old; old enough for wedding anniversaries even.
Twelve years ago I'd say we were different people. In 1999 we were living in the first house we bought together (a very grown up family house); we were both 'employed' rather than 'self-employed'; we hung out with friends; frequented pubs and restaurants; went to more than our fair share of gigs and music festivals; had the weekend papers delivered and had lie-in's every weekend we wanted them. Oh how different life has become. All that free-time to ourselves: we'd walk over hot coals just for a fraction of that care-free time now.
Our wedding day was wonderful, as every wedding day should be. But it was just 'a day' ten and a half years down the line to legally seal our commitment to one another. It was a beautiful day spent with our families and closest friends all under one roof - a line up never to be repeated. We had a lovely civil ceremony at Pembroke Lodge in Richmond Park and stayed there for the reception. We were the last to leave the party - it was that good.
But it's the normal days, good and bad, that make a marriage. There have been amazing up times like the arrival of out two beautiful children who are the epicentre of our existence and there was relocating and setting up our family-life in Hove which has moved us into new circles of friends who have become very much loved and valued. There have been down times too, really down times; but we've had each other and that is a powerful thing during uncertain times in life. There has been stressful times; the business, moving home (or not), schools and finding our way as a new parents. Twelve years ago today, on the eve of our wedding we were excited about the prospect of setting out on the path of married life: a new chapter. Back then we were carefree with ideas, dreams and ambitions. Did any of it come to fruit?
Well, we might not (yet) be living in our dream house as we approach our middle life years and holidaying in exotic places has yet to come our way, neither has a dream car (actually neither of us care a toot about cars, hence we own a Skoda) and we don't have piles of money sitting in the bank beckoning an early retirement. However, we're comfortable, have no major life regrets and we're happy. We've worked hard together to build our business, we live by the sea in a city we love and we have two of the most amazing children you're ever likely to meet. Not a bad outcome for the last twelve years all considered don't you think?
Today happens to be my mum and dad's wedding anniversary. They have clocked up an amazing fourty-four years. That's a big number. I ponder as to how that must feel. I imagine it must feel quite unreal; how can you have been married so many years in what feels such a short space of time? Where did the time go. As they say, time is what goes by when your busy living your life.
